Parliamentary zoo. A Lebanese find!

The zoo officially opened its doors two days ago and we the people were graced with a vast array of not so domesticated and friendly animals. I am guessing that many of you (like me) have attempted to follow this pitiful spectacle trying find the least beastly of all the animals on display. Even my dog could not stand such dismal display of animosity. As soon as I switched the channel on the TV to the parliamentary debate he hid under the table and meowed in fear.
Many of those animals have exceeded their normal life expectancy and despite their old age are still showing extreme signs of good health; roaring, braying even crowing like they never did before. Some at times took a nap, while some others were eying there next prey. And the so called king of this farce of a jungle sat on his rock occasionally roaring out loud remind all that after 19 years he still is the elder, the iztez.
Wlek TFEH!
TFEH on me first and on all the "sheeple" (the Lebanese that is) that still sit idle, while a bunch of savage animals decide their faith. Nagging does no longer cut it, our voices will never be heard for they are falling (and has been for ages) on not only deaf, but selfish ears.
Wake up and rebel, reclaim you rights; regain your once great culture. Become a nation and reclaim the 10452 Km2 that once were the envy of all our neighbors.


Al sha3b yourid iskat heik taba2a siyesiyeh feisdeh !

WLEK TFEH !

My Take on Syria !

30 years of blatant and murderous hegemony and not even a whisper was ever uttered from the mouth of any of our “brothers and sisters” from the north. This very same despotic regime which inflicted over a hundred thousand of deaths in this Biblical land of milk and honey went not only unpunished, but never mentioned or even held accountable for, and here I am today expected to raise my “humanitarian” voice in anger. Why were you ALL so silent when my land was being pillaged and our women being raped? At that time you deemed it acceptable that my people had dues to pay in the name of Kaymiyeh 3arabieh?
Here you are now, my “so called” brothers and sisters seeking recognition for your new found rebellion against this same regime that once wreaked mayhem amongst my people and now is killing you by the dozens, and you are asking for refuge and a safe haven within MY 10452Km2 which you fought against.

Many before you had their own plans and misconceived ideas with regards of how easily it would be to push their own agendas in a country plagued by so many conflicting and ever changing minorities seeking to keep hold of the upper hand. What you fail to comprehend is that Lebanon, since its first independence, was never a nation; for there is no such thing as a “true Lebanese”. We are (Lebanese that is) nothing more than a bunch of fanatic bigots with the biggest superiority complex ever known to man.

Yes our ancestors invented the alphabet and the “ourjouwan” colour, yes they were tradesmen by excellence; but look at our “people” now, and they are the lowest denominator when it comes to patriotism.

You might ask, aren’t I supposed to at least shed a tear for those innocent children being murdered on a daily basis by the “ba3sist” regime? My reply would ,and will always be, name one who’s eyes watered when Maya Bashir Gemayel was murdered (by mistake).

Yes in this instance I have lost the last iota of humanity I had left, and I am now longing for the day when civil war will actually brake out (and it will) within our so called “sisterly” state in hope that I will be part of this “kowait al rade3” and repay them at least 50% of the pain their government inflicted upon MY people.

If there is a God, I hope that I might live to see the day whereby the Syrian government (present or to come) will wonder for hundreds of years as to the faith of those who are rotting in Lebanese jails and will get no answer (a tooth for a tooth the Bible said, well according to me a tooth for an entire “dentier”) .

Michel Aoun and all those who are attempting to legitimize the regime’s crimes “can eat my dirty knickers” on a daily basis.
My bitterness is so great that it has extended way beyond the regime.
The blood MY people shed will never go in vain, so if my words might sound harsh and stripped of all common decency, burn me to the stake for I do not give a damn!
The day of reckoning is coming !!!

Wlek TFEH !

The newly found Lebanese culture !

A while back I thought that I had nothing left to say about this land of milk and honey that I haven’t repeated over and over again; I felt like I was beating a dead horse. My words on many occasions failed me, and I found myself not being able to “ink” my thoughts. The Lebanese political arena had become so boring and repetitive that I deemed it not worthy of trying to revive my brain cells in order to write any half coherent text.

Those of you who are familiar with my ranting might wonder why I kept so silent especially with regards to all the trials and tribulations our “sisterly” state in the north was witnessing. And those of you who know me well enough would understand my silence. Well tonight I will break my silence for a short lapse of time, so bare with me.

Whilst I was attempting to watch the debate with regards to the dilemma about the proposed history books, Bashir Gemayel came to mind; and those of you who know me well enough can recall endless discussion whereby I have made it clear that I was very critical of some of the means and never was someone who could follow blindly.

Going through Bashir’s old speeches on youtube I came across a video clip from a program that use to air on MTV (and thank God it is no longer). I have no idea why I actually took the time for the clip to download (thank you minister Sahnaoui for keeping your promise for fast internet), but when I actually starting watching I was shocked. Shocked to the extent that being the masochistic fool that I am, I had to watch it till the end.

If such a program can gather so much viewers than Lebanon deserves much worse than the Syrian boot, Lebanon should be burned to the ground along with all those who make such programs a success; and maybe just like the legend of the phoenix (with a slight difference) some good will rise from the ashes.

Long gone are the days of Gaston Chikhani, Jean Calude Boulos (to whom I pay tribute and may he rest in peace), Yvette Sursock, le theatre des dix heures...etc; the only culture we are witnessing today is reflective of this big brothel they made Lebanon into.

Al sha3b yourid iskat Hayfa, Maya, May...etc !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsN2vsHdX7M&feature=related

As far as I am concerned !

Patriarch Rai can grow his beard, wear a turban and lead us to another (devastating) divine victory.

Walid Jumblat can get on his Harley and ride unto the sunset never to be heard of again.

Nabih Berri can turn parliament into a big Roman orgy.

Samir Geagea can decide to become a monk in the hope to be canonized after his passing.

Saad Hariri can turn downtown Beirut into a red light district and become its higher paid customer.

Michel Aoun can direct and star in a new version of Mel brook’s history of the world.

Amine Gemayel can create his own line of hair care products.

Talal Arslan can open up a free psychiatric ward for all those who have an inferiority complex.

Hassan Nasrallah can get on his white horse waiving his sword (like Mar Elias) protecting all Arab widows and orphans.

As far as I am concerned, they, and all our political class, past and current might not even have a place reserved for them in hell, for the devil might be afraid that they will oust him.

Hassan Nasrallah, ou l’oiseau de mauvais augure!

Sad is the day when an entire (so called) nation awaited with bated breath the speech of a self proclaimed divine protector in order to have a hint, or even an inclination as to whether this long awaited summer will be calm and prosperous, ... or not.

Hassouna (our self declared divine protector) a finalement mit les points sur les "I ".

According to him; we have to be grateful for the role the Syrian “despotic” regime has played throughout; not only the 15 years of war, but also the next 15 years of hegemony we Lebanese had to endure (at a price of many martyrs numbering in the tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands), for according to “our dear Divine protector” Lebanon would have ceased to exist if it wasn't for the goodness of the Syrian heart's regime with regards to its "sisterly state" (and still we have no border demarcation).

The only “true” (and legal, according to him) resistance is that of Hizbullah, and all the rest is nothing but puppets in the hand of the greater evil that is Netenyahu (thank God his family name does not end in a double OO and not a U; than Yahoo would also be a Zionist entity), Obama, KSA, Bahrain, France, England…and the rest of the world; save Pakistan, the Taliban, Iran ….. Bashar.

Even Mikati and Suleiman had their fare share of criticism.

Get out of Iraq and Afghanistan, he shouted whilst his hand was whipping the sweat off his forehead and trying to put back the few strains of rebellious hair which kept on creeping outside his turban. Syria (or to put it in his own words SOUYiYA) is a red line, do not attempt to stab it in the back .

According to our self proclaimed divine protector, the entire universe is wrong. Bashar is nothing short of St Rita, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Mar Charbel, The prophet Mohammad, Hare Krishna, Tao, Winnie the poo…etc (all put together in order to create the most magnanimous entity ) and we should all rally behind him; for according to Hassouna what is taking place in SOUYIYA is all the doing of one Obama and one Netenyahu.

According to him the majority of the Syrian people are all for a living under oppression and those who died in their quest for freedom and dignity are nothing but a small percentage misguided by foreign "ill seeking" powers with their own devilish agendas (Lebanese devil worshipers included).

Hassouna, our Divine protector after having sweat profusely, promised us yet another more spectacular victory.
The only question that springs to my mind is : “at what cost?”

Wlek tfeh ya Hassan, go back to that same rock you crawled out of.

The only people who are still applauding your speeches are not Lebanese. And when Bashar will fall flat on his face (within time I admit) and gets shafted (with no Vaseline), the only recourse you and your "sheeple"will have, is to seek refuge in the land of “Wilayat Al Faqih”, but only if (and a big IF that is) then such a land and outdated notion still exists. Remember Neda, she is nothing but the beginning!

Syrian Karma

For over 30 years we have endured what you are JUST beginning to endure.
For over 30 years the world stood silent towards the blatant abuse your regime is now inflicting upon you (after many years of practice).
For over 30 years my country was run to the ground so that the same murderous family could keeps its power and insures its survival.
For over 30 years fear prevailed violently silencing the strongest of opposition voices.
For over 30 years mothers wept (and many are still weeping) awaiting closure on the fate of their long lost sons.
For over 30 years many have waited for this day in silence !
There is (and there should be) a part of every Lebanese rejoicing in the saying :“what goes around comes around”; but somehow this “festive” feeling is dampened by the savagery the Syrian regime is inflicting upon its own people. Such criminal acts (in some twisted feeble minds) could have been justified when done by an “occupying” power against even a “sisterly” state; but harder to digest when such cruelty is inflicted against your own people (not to use the words “your own kind”).
Today (and yesterday) I feel with my (hopefully repenting brothers and sisters) who remained silent to our plight for over 30 years. To those very same Syrian brothers and sisters I call for “Tawhid al massareyn”; in the fight for DIGNITY and freedom.
To my brothers and sisters in Syria I say :
“I forgive your silence over 30 years; better late than never. Keep up the fight and maybe one day (hopefully soon) we can both regain our dignity; DEMARCATE borders and LIVE AND LET LIVE. Keep up the struggle and once you achieve your freedom, no need to apologize for your silence and your past complacency; it’s all in the past!
For the time being, as a Lebanese who witnessed firsthand the power of the Syrian regime’s “boot”, I am rooting for you; don’t let me down. I have no aspirations whatsoever to be “invited” to your country as "KOWAT AL RADE3" and spend 30 years pillaging, murdering, and making you feel that your security and stability depends solely on the whimsy of our local dictatorial (which is not the case) president ELECTED FOR LIFE !

Weep silently.

I weep silently, just like a hungry new born who has it in him not make his selfish mother feel guilty for not feeding him.

I weep silently, just like a toddler who fell down the stairs and his silent cries were ignored.

I weep silently, just like a teenager who had his heart crushed for the very first time and no one noticed his pain.

I weep silently, just like the first time you left your parental cocoon and felt lonely.

I weep silently, just like when you finally realize that “for better or for worst” is not a lifetime warranty.

I weep silently, just like when you see the one person you love the most on his death bed, and you are the only one present.

But shed rivers of tears my Lebanese son; for soon you will find yourself without the 10452km2 your ancestors shed their blood in order to call this land a permanent home.

When push comes to shove you will have to decide, either to put your life at risk for the “cause” , or to convince yourself (like I did) that now is not the right time; use your trump card (your other inherited citizenship)and take the easy way out.

In both cases, I can assure you my son that you will shed oceans of tears; and this is the curse of being born Lebanese.

N.B: You know where my stash of weapons is.

Al ma7abis youridoun al 3afou al 3am !

The entire Middle East is witnessing popular revolts against despots, regimes and long standing oppression; and we Lebanese (the chosen people amongst our Arab neighbours) are witnessing a new kind of revolution.
In keeping with the (misplaced) idea of being “avangardistes”, and having missed the train of true rebellion against the regime; we Lebanese have concocted a new “righteous cause”, in order to regain the FIRST ranking amongst our neighbouring “sheeple”.
The best ,and the only available alternative is that of the prisoner’s conditions within our ill managed Lebanese state (or currently, lack of). Yes the local penal system is flawed, and has been since our so called independence; but does this FACT justify the latest popular upsurge in the call of descent against “the machine” (and yes this is a direct reference to Pink Floyd)?
No matter how harsh an inhumane the conditions are within our local prison system; this should have been a buffer against crime, even petty crime; but I guess we in Lebanon have a different notion of what is right and what is wrong.
Yes you have the right to demonstrate “peacefully” for better conditions within our jails for your relatives and loved ones; but you also have to admit, with SHAME that they have done wrong, and dues have to be paid. Screaming, burning tires, blocking road, justifying dealing drugs for the lack of job opportunities, murder...etc; whilst your next of kin (“guests” at the hotel Roumieh) have the liberty to communicate with the media via cell phones, slashing their bodies (or other prisoner’s) with blade knives whilst setting fuel tanks on fire endangering other people’s lives is a clear signal that the 3afou 3am is something that the government (if only we had one), should not even consider.
Many had the audacity to voice their opinion, claiming that the crimes perpetrated by those they represent were because of lack of opportunities; and those very same “leaches on society” were arrogant enough to claim that drug dealing (even rape) is not like murder. WLEK TFEH ! And still some listen and promise better conditions once the necessary monies are passed through parliament. Don’t we have more pressing issues like 24h electricity, water, social security, retirement fund ....etc towards those “law abiding” citizens; before we start thinking of the rehabilitation of those who are a burden on the already depleted government coffers?
I just wish that the next time I pass by Roumieh (and it might be tomorrow), and a stone is thrown at my car I could brandish my gun and shoot at those so called mothers who are foreign to “the rule of law”, and not only to maim the lot of them, but piss on their bleeding bodies. Let them go and witness firsthand how our neighbouring countries deal with their own (and ours, SYRIA) prisoners and I dare them to demonstrate there.
THIS IS NOT LEBANON. THIS IS NOT AN INNOCENT CRY FOR BETTER CONDITIONS; THIS IS NOTHING BUT A VAIN ATTEMPT TO COMPROMISE ZIAD BAROUD AND MICHEL SULEIMAN
I say: “Let them burn, along with Roumieh”, one of the bastion of a failed state.

Half a century…… almost!

Half a century almost; and STILL I am in search of answers.
Half a century almost; and I am STILL being forced to deal with forced changes.
Half a century almost; and my future STILL seems insecure.
Half a century almost; and my disdain is STILL ever growing.
Half a century almost; And STILL I can’t claim to be part of ONE nation and ONE people.
Half a century almost; and I STILL have my gun close by in my night stand.

The above is nothing but a mere ‘lucarne’ to the soul of those Lebanese born into the early 60’s, and still believe in the land of the Cedars (and for those less romantic you can call it LEBANON).
From Bechara Al Khoury, Majid Arslan, Kamal Junblat, Camille Chamoun, Fouad Chehab, Antoun Saadeh, to Maarouf Saad, Etienne Sakr, , Saad Haddad, Ibrahim Kulaylat..etc ending with the likes of Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Carter, Mouammar Al Kaddafi, Yasser Arafat… and many more; we should have realized a long time ago that we are (according to the “then and now” prevailing powers) “disposable”, not even as a nation or people; just plain DISPOSABLE. And we still are.
Over 180,000 shed blood for their different vision of the motherland; and here we are today standing (gun in hand) at square one. Two generations (and the third is in the making) since our so called independence and the divide is growing deeper. The fear of one (OK only a couple) of the 18 different religious sects trying to take over and change the face of Lebanon, is a notion I never would have even entertained, but has now became ‘food for thought’. On one hand we have a Divine protector who pledges allegiance to Wilayat al Fakih backed by a demented general, and on the other hand we have a new born Christian allied to the very religious sect, who not long ago wanted to push him to the sea and create a Palestinian state within our borders.
And this new generation of ours (the second generation, our hope for a better future) has jumped on the “revolution” bandwagon, and demonstrates almost every Sunday for a secular state. “iskat al nizam” they shout out proudly; but what “nizam” I ask? The same “nizam” which allows you to ride your moped and wreak havoc within safe neighborhood? Or the very same “nizam” which allows you to have darkened windshields on your car, a license to carry arms, to fire RPG rocket in jubilation, to have your dad on the government payroll whilst holding another more lucrative job?
Lebanon is not Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Libya… or even Sierra Leon. Lebanon is the only country within the Middle East whereby a Christian can have a say and not be persecuted for his beliefs, and his places of worship not burned to the ground (like Egypt even after the January revolution). Lebanon is a Biblical land, and Lebanon is the only safe haven for Christians.
Having said that; yes I am for a secular state. A STRONG state which will provide for ALL its people equally.
The state of Lebanon, where any citizen will not have to notice the difference between any millimeters of the 10452km2.
The State of Lebanon where one can take his camera and take pictures of mountains, valleys, churches, mosques, synagogues, …etc without being told that he couldn’t.
The state of Lebanon, where a mother has the right to pass on the Lebanese nationality to her children.
The state of Lebanon, where “ahwal al shakhsiya” are the same for all its citizens regardless of religion.
The state of Lebanon, where religious figures take care of their flock and do not dwell in politics.
The state of Lebanon, where one religious sect is NO LONGER ALLOWED to impose its way of life within its area of influence.
The state of Lebanon, held accountable towards its people regardless.
The state of Lebanon, capable of providing basic necessities and security to all its citizens.
The state of Lebanon……. The list is long.
But mainly, THE STATE OF LEBANON SHOULD BE WILLING TO INVEST INTO EDUCATING THIS 3RD GENERATION IMPREGNATED WITH FANATICISM AND HATE PASSED DOWN, IF EVER THERE IS TO BE HOPE FOR A BETTER FUTURE.
Are you going to demonstrate next Sunday? And if you are, for what? 24 hours electricity, decent public transport, health care, clean environment, impartial judicial system, unified history book dealing with the period stretching from 1975 to 1990, spousal abuse law, child labor, demarcation of land and sea frontiers, armed militias, counterfeit food products, civil liberties…etc? Or the more pressing issue, according to you, a SECULAR state????

Apology !

Those (few) who know me will tell you that I am not a devout practicing Christian. And those (even fewer) who read me, will remember how many times (sorry Zoon) I was critical of Mar Nasrallah Boutros Sfeir.
Today, Bkerke witnessed a ceremony, a “solemn” farewell to a man on who inherited the heavy responsibility of safekeeping the sheer survival of a (religious) community fragmented by (then) 11 years of war. His foes were many and varied, from foreign to local, and even from within his own flock. But the man stood his grounds. From “Kornet Shehwan” passing through “harb al ilgha and harb al tah7rir, to “the Cedar Revolution” and the 7th of May; I was still critical. A man of the “clothe”, I always believed should never dwell (and soil) his hands in politics.
Yes I held him responsible for not letting the people march onto Baabda and dethrone the “Lebanese Olympic swimming” despot we had for president then, and I also blamed him for succumbing to the pressures of having to come up with a list of hopeful presidential candidates when I thought (and I still think) that he should have remained silent; but now I less question his motives (not to say his wisdom and admit that I totally misread him). Today Moutran Abi Joudeh’s apology to the patriarch I related to.
This might be the time of “revolutions”, “freedom” and “power to the people” (although I doubt it). For me this is a time to extend my apology to a Lebanese figure (and not to a religious man) who sought to protect me as a LEBANESE against change from oppression to utter chaos. When today a church was burned down to the ground in Egypt; I can only wonder about some of the slogans that were shouted in “Tahrir Square” which it reminded me of Gibran’s Tweini’s famous “naksimouh bil allah al 3azim…”. Who’s going to protect, not me, but my son now?
Gebran Bassil got his knickers in a twist today and did not attend the celebration in Bkerke, for he did not have a front row seat (being THE representative for Michel Aoun). My answer is to he is the following video clip, and to the Marada movement whom representative decided to leave in the middle of the ceremony I can only say:
“Remember when Slimmy said that “the patriarch is having a “bonner” being amongst his female friends, and when his retarded followers shouted out loud “inta batrakna ya Sleiman”?
Mar Nasrallah Boutros Sfeir is a dignified man, and I apologize for some of the words I wrote about him.




N.B: In the enclosed clip, I wonder if the kid being held during the storming of Bkerkeh is not Gebran Bassil. Can someone shed a light?

Violence begets violence.

I can understand the anger and the frustration, but I cannot accept the similarities (save the detail of armed thugs) with what I condemned vehemently in 2008; the similarities were there for me to condemn. Yes “sticks and stones will not break my bones” as the saying goes, but this does not in any way justify stooping to their level and falling into their well laid trap. All that was missing was the herd of mopeds, AK47’s, RPG’s, and militia uniforms. This does not make the impact any less gruesome and worrying.
On the other hand, the so called peaceful demo in downtown Beirut did not attract the (expected or even hoped for) crowd. And you wonder why?
Once you took it upon yourself (Ya Tayyar Al Mustakbal) to portray this fight as typical Sunni betrayal, forgetting the very essence of the Cedar Revolution, you forgo your allies who ensured you the majority in parliament. This was supposed to be the ultimate fight for justice and freedom, and you have chosen to derail it.
Goatee Saad has amassed one mistake after another, and when his last chance of redemption was offered; his “tayyar” passed kilometers next to it. This is not a fight between the two predominant Muslim sects. This is a fight for the survival of this BIBLICAL LAND OF THE CEDARS, Hassan Nasrallah’s speech today proves this point.
Downtown Beirut showed a very shy gathering tonight and not to my surprise. For tonight Saad and Hassan made it all about a struggle of influence between 2 out of the 18 sects, that are nothing but couple of parts of the Lebanese canvas.
Fellow Lebanese at the risk of sounding like a broken record : “wake up and smell the cyanide” , say NO to all of them!
My fellow Lebanese, I leave you with the following:



And to those of you who have inspirations way beyond our borders:

Walid beyk: “Eat my dirty knickers” !

I still recall the evening with Marcel Ghanem (a persona non grata in my humble opinion) where more than a couple of folders where laid on the table by Walid beyk’s side (another persona non grata) in the course of an interview. A promise was made by the so called leader of the Druze community, to one day unseal those folders, and prove beyond any reasonable doubt that the Syrian regime killed his father. Where are those files now, I wonder? Did Walid beyk decide to use them to feed the fire in his chimney in Moukhtara in order to keep warm knowing that the ton of “mazout” is about to reach the 900$ mark and times are tough? Or is it nothing more than a true reflection of the leech he really is?
To those of you who had the misfortune to witness the Lebanese “civil” war”, I would like to remind you of the times when Walid Jr and Chamoun Jr (R.I.P) use to race cars in Hamra st and were clueless with regards of hereditary leadership.
After his father’s assassination, this once rebellious son HAD to take over his father’s legacy and insure the continuous burning of the Arabic flame. Faisal (from the Arslan “rival” clan) was pushed aside thanks to the great efforts of Khawla for he was not a direct fruit of her womb, and Talal was too young (and in many ways, still is). Hence, Walid beyk became the most prominent representative of one the 18 Lebanese sects.
Times came and went, people were displaced, Deir Al Kammar was besieged (his childhood friend’s fiefdom), reconciliation took place, and repentance was never said (especially not today). My fellow Lebanese and Druze I might add; how can you still rally behind such a fickle leader. Granted your other options are not so bright (Wahab and Arslan), but always remember you are Lebanese; and if your memory should fail you in that respect, then don’t label me a fanatic. Walid beyk is claiming to play a game of survival, your (the Druze) survival. But can you actually believe than when the other side reaches its long term goal (Wilayet Al Faqih), you would fit in?
Take lessons my fellow Druze from Lebanon’s history, and know damn well that you are being used, and none of you will live to tell the tail. Just remember the 7th of May.
Walid beyk : “Eat my dirty knickers”, and I am not a Druze; but I am LEBANESE.

N.B: By the way, where is Joseph Sader?

Pity my nation (or lack of)

"Pity the nation that acclaims the bully as hero,
and that deems the glittering conqueror bountiful.
Pity a nation that despises a passion in its dream,
yet submits in its awakening.
Pity the nation that raises not its voice
save when it walks in a funeral,
boasts not except among its ruins,
and will rebel not save when its neck is laid
between the sword and the block."



Although I am not dead yet (to the dismay of many) in am turning in my “future grave”, for nothing will never change. A deep feeling of resentment has taken over my soul; and I am convinced that once again I have taken the wrong turn in the crossroads that I thought were presented to me.
At a very young age I thought, and for a very short lapse of time, that my cause was right and that it was a cause for survival; but I was wrong then.
Then came a time in the hay days of the WMLL (world movement for the liberation of Lebanon)when I held my hopes high , foolishly thinking that it will remedy my past sins and make way for a brighter future.
And not so long ago (after a very long period of non-belonging and living in limbo ) I wrongly thought that the time was ripe for a “Cedar Revolution” that will bring back a long lost dignity, which I (then) thought was craved by many of my countrymen.
Once again I was wrong.

Just like every decision I have ever made regarding this once Biblical (and no fanaticism intended) land of mine (and to some, maybe yours) has proven not only to be the wrong one, but the one that brought me closer to disbelief in the goodness of man. This motherland of mine has proven to be nothing but a cesspool for all that is evil. No I am not cursing, nor dissing Lebanon; but I am actually cursing and dissing the Lebanese. This unique creed of pretentious sheeple who put themselves even above their 18 (legally recognized) different notions of God.
Today another nail in the coffin of what could have been (in order not to say “what was”) a great nation was hammered to the applause of many. But to those (like me) who had one last iota of hope left; it was another sad chapter in our quest for true independence, justice and the right to live free.
Today I disassociate myself from all those who still believe in any form of dialogue with all, and anyone who disregarded the results of the past elections. And furthermore I dissociate myself from those who won (because of my vote and that of hopeful Lebanese) and bent over (just to get fucked) more than once in the past two years, to the extent that it became a habit.
Your country needs you (the few remaining Lebanese) to get off your lazy arses and react. Say no to the current situation and do not wait for tents to be erected once again in downtown Beirut or for the airport road to be closed by mopeds and burning tires. Face the cold and stage a sit in in Dahieh, 3ein il tineh, Parliament square, Baabda palace; heck ABC and City Mall AND DEMAND YOUR RIGHT OF REPRESENTATION.
Say no to ALL our political class, voice your disdain in public (for once) and DEMAND a radical change.
Bidna n3ish you say? ASSUME !
Wlek Tfeh !

The MOTHERland.

Not such a simple word, but a word nevertheless; which many used and still uses, coupled with a feeling of warmth and belonging. A word that pops out in conversations between friends and strangers alike over tea, drinks, diner, or even multi million business deals; in referral to a place of birth. A word strong enough, that if squeezed properly into any conversation could open the door to many opportunities.
And what if your MOTHERland was Lebanon? How would you fare within a casual conversation, in comparison to those born in Armenia, Yugoslavia, Kurdistan,…etc, or even the “Jews”?
You might ague your way that your ancestors invented the 7arf, ourjouan,Gebran Khalil Gebran… and even the fact that your cedars were mentioned in the bible; but where do you stand today?
Your glory days have long gone and are almost forgotten; for your recent history has been forever tarnished.
Yet those ingrate siblings (to the MOTHERland) still feel superior to their fellow man; arguing achievements hardly remembered (if not only by a few remaining academics). I ask of you my fellow Lebanese: When did you last contribute to this world, and moreover what was your contribution? Was it your arrogance, you superiority complex, your hatred for one another, your recent lack of culture, your down town Beirut (more like an Arab brothel), your example of democracy, your respect for women’s rights, your educational system, or even the only true “resistance” movement?
This MOTHERland of ours (the few Lebanese remaining) has suffered the worst kind of labor giving birth to all her children; and through the years witnessed two thirds of them abandon her, seeking the warmth of some other surrogate mother.
And those who stayed, just like any teenager, rebelled.
As the years went by the MOTHERland was used and abused, in a way never documented before (once again we are pioneers). And there she stood lovingly silent waiting for the “recognition” phase. A simple “Mea culpa” would have sufficed, for all to be forgotten, and harmony (amongst her children) to reign again
But those words were never uttered!
Abuse led to more abuse. And some even took it further to call the MOTHERland a whore, citing the previous rapes she suffered in order to justify the venom they were throwing at her face. Little do they know that they are the fruit of such a barbaric rape, and that the MOTHERland nurtured them and gave them a safe haven against all those who thought it was best to opt for an abortion.
This MOTHERland I am writing about today is nothing short of every single mother who had to bite her lip (until it bled) in silence when one (if not all) of her children thought he knew best. This is the same mother who stayed awake waiting for her last child to come home in order to make sure that all her children were safe, and was the first one to awake and make breakfast. This is the same mother who never expected anything in return, but was “hoping” for some appreciation and a little (just a little) respect. But moreover this is the mother who loved all her children the same unequivocally.

I am writing about the mother who faced all the dangers that came her way and had just one worry, that no harm will fall upon her children, regardless of her own life. I am writing about a mother, OUR mother, OUR MOTHERland who is now dying at the hands of those she gave birth to and are now digging her grave.
So if your regard LEBANON as your MOTHERland (and even if it so happens that your mother is called Loubnan) just bow in respect , for you will never ever find a love as true and everlasting.


The Lebanese Jester

Independence day !

When a picture "paints" a thousand words.




Tfeh!

Hassan and the honor of the divine vagina !

A sigh of relief I had when I caught the last part of our divine protector speech tonight.
Finally someone had the balls to stand up for Lebanese honor which (as he claims) is being trampled upon by the Western evil that is the STL.
How dare those foreign, loosed morals, Zionist tainted investigators question the state of local vagina's?








Shame and damnation on all of us, who do not see the disgrace in such a blatant invitation to debauchery!
Thank you, oh great one for I will now run to my wife gynecologist and ask for her file, just in case she might have implanted (and you know where) some weird communication device enabling the enemy to track my ins and outs.
Wlek tfeh !

You are not welcome Mr Ahmadinejad !

Today we will witness a warm welcome to the devil incarnate (Ahmadinejad) and another black page will be added to Lebanon’s history.
To all of you who are still in the dark as to why many of us oppose such a visit, one reason could be the support it brings to our local devil, and why devil you might ask ?

Just a reminder:

Fuck me gently part II.

Fuck me gently; for I fail to understand (once again) why, as a TRUE LEBANESE (a dying breed) I still cannot comprehend:
1) Why during today’s parliament session, no clear condemnation was made with regards to the latest Syrian blunder against Lebanon’s sovereignty.
2) Why the warrant against Jamil al Sayyed (the instigator of the latest Syrian blunder) remains unexecuted.
3) Why once again the subject of financing the STL was postponed.
4) And moreover, why a firm stand was not made (by our so called elected government) with regards to “our” commitment to know “the truth”.
5) Why have we never logged a complaint within the UN or even the (dysfunctional) Arab League for compensation against our sisterly state for damages (and theft) throughout 30 years of hegemony.
6) Why have we not logged a complaint within the UN (and this is not for the sake of keeping the Hizbollahi’s happy) against damages incurred on the hands of the state (and yes I am saying “state”) of Israel.
7) Why is it that as, a state we still haven’t defined our maritime borders (internationally); and yet we go up in arms with regards to shared sea gaz pockets.
8:) Why is it that we (recently) established diplomatic exchange with our sisterly neighbor, but we still do not have defined borders.
9) Why is it that after having dismantled so many spy networks we still don’t know the whereabouts of Joseph Sader.
Many more questions can spring to mind, and not only on a political basis; so brace yourselves for more episodes of “fuck me gently”, which will encompass more aspects of TRUE LEBANESE daily life.
N.B: Fuck me gently, for I fail to understand why Goatee Saad is prime minister!

Fuck me gently!

Fuck me gently; for I fail to understand why, as a TRUE LEBANESE (a dying breed) still cannot comprehend:
1) Why the STL is a Zionist entity (according to SOME) without any concrete proof.
2) Why Wi’am Wahab is still allowed to profess publicly  the return of Syrian tanks (and being proud of it) into Lebanese territory in order (according to him) prevent civil strife.3) Why a few days before the commemoration of Sabra and Chatilla did Sami Gemayel deemed it fit to recall the collaboration with Israel.
4) Why did Goatee Saad El Dine “vainly” attempted to exonerate the Syrian regime from all the political assassinations which took place, at least since 2005.
5) Why this sudden urge on the behalf of Americans and Israeli diplomats to include Syria (and maybe Lebanon) in the peace talks with Israel.
6) Why the hint of the willingness to withdraw from the Golan Heights in return for peace talks.
7) Why the local threat (from the representatives of our “divine” protector’s spokes people) of uprising by the end of September, if the STL was not abandoned by the government.
8) Why was Jamil Al Sayyed is allowed to dish out so much “unfounded” accusations on many local TV stations.
9) Why Michel Aoun (who is part of the government) can go on TV and call for civil disobedience.
The above is nothing but a few questions any TRUE LEBANESE should ask himself; but it doesn’t stop there.
A) Nadim Gemayel went on to assert his conviction that all the killings which took place during the Syrian hegemony are directly related to the Syrian Baathist regime. Some might argue that his speech emanated from a deep rooted feeling that it was about time he reclaimed his father’s (Sheikh Bashir) legacy that might have been shadowed by the fiery speeches of his cousin Sami, maybe, rightly so. For any Lebanese (and not only Christian) who believed in Bashir’s ideology, they were (to say the least) disappointed by the way Amin (his brother) pretended to keep his ideology alive. Never forget that Amin at the end of his presidential term created the vacuum, whereby appointing Michel Aoun head of the transitional government. Once Amin sat on the “cursed” presidential chair, the Kataeb began its downward spiral. From Hajj to Pakradouni to Amin’s exile to France (not that he was suffering), to the Kataeb we know today. Pierre the founder is long dead, and so is Pierre the grandson (May God rest his soul, and not because I adhere to the Kataeb); but the kataeb we know today is far from Bashir’s Kataeb. Sami can never rekindle the light of his uncle, he does not have the charisma, nor does he have the deep rooted convictions. Nadim on the other (after his last speech) hand might be on the right track.
B) Jamil El Sayyed rantings about the STL, Said Mirza, False witnesses…etc; even if they were all true allegations; can any Lebanese forget the crimes this Syrian puppet perpetrated against fellow Lebanese? Did we forget how the ISF (under his directorate and the cover of Adnan Addoum) use to dismantle demonstrations calling for freedom, independence, sovereignty, and territorial integrity (and this is a reminder to Michel Aoun)?
C) Who the Fuck is Wi’am Wahab and how many Druze does he represent? Where does he come from to be able to go on every single local TV station dishing out his threats against the government and politicians and getting away with it? Why is it, NOW allowed to air such detrimental speeches to “al wifak al watani”, and not long ago MTV was shut down?
D) Why is it that Syria (our sister state) never lifted a finger when we were under attack and still claims that it has our best interest at heart (tawhid al massareyn). Not one single rocket was ever fired into Israel (our “only” enemy) from Syrian territories; but Syria does have pawns in Lebanon (such as Ahmad Gebril) to do its dirty work.
E) Why is America so eager to send envoys to Lebanon and Syria (and especially Syria) at the “re-start” of the Israeli-Palestinian peace talks? Who do you think will be higher on the US priority table (as an ally against an eventual Iranian strike) Lebanon or Syria?
F) This letter should stand for FUCK you Lebanese Christians (especially those who follow Michel Aoun), if you think the next “CIVIL” war (and I think it is on our doorsteps) will be Sunni against Shiaa; you are right in the middle.
Have you noticed that for once I did not mention nor bash Hizbollah? I don’t need to; Michel Aoun (Hizbollah’s proxy) has made sure to alienate all hope of a free and independent Lebanon.

N.B: No, I will not let you fuck me gently. For, like the Palestinians thought in the mid 70’s that they could take over MY land; Syria will never return and we (TRUE LEBANESE) will never be part of Walayat Al Fakih. And this is the true meaning of “MOUKAWAMEH”.

I am a “Moukawem”.

Thank you Hassouna, for yet another enlightened/divine speech. Tonight your moderate tone finally convinced me of your righteousness. Yes you are our supreme leader; nazih and charif.
Mea culpa for having doubted your patriotic drive and the selfishness, no other local politician ever showed me (including those who lost their lives).
Your magnanimous words with regards to the families of those newly found spies, and how they should not be labeled and singled out (especially the “daughters”); made me not pay much attention to the fact that you called for their quick execution (if only I could post on youtube a British documentary that was made by NTV entertainment in 1995 about the savagery of executions and the death penalty which shows in its last couple of minutes how your party executed (without a trial) an alleged 3amil in front of his mother). Apart from your “relatively” calm tone of voice (and with no finger waving for a change) your female audience was showing hair. Could this be the dawn of a new “infitah” era? I must say I was impressed. More so (and not dwell in the pile of empty rhetoric and non founded justification to your divine message) when you suggested that the government should seek (after having agreed to the extensive shopping list for the LAF) during Dr. Ahmadinejad’s (the protector of all human rights) upcoming visit to Lebanon to extend its begging hand, and seek (the more than willing) Iranian’s help (of course with no strings attached, but only for the love it has for their brother Lebanese) in order to provide the LAF with the needed weapons, ie: missiles, armor piercing rockets…etc
Ya sayyed Hassan, why not at the same time, since the Iranians are so eager to help us (for free, and no strings attached) not ask for submarines, fighter planes and any other “offensive” weaponry they have in their arsenal.
In all fairness you did start, ya Hassouna, this segment of your speech by including all Arab countries and asking them to relinquish part of their military arsenal which is being stockpiled, and about to become obsolete; for better use in Lebanon (the only country who is on the frontline with our only and arch enemy Israel). I guess the answer to that is “Beggars can be choosers”.
But what really swayed me to your side, and made me wish I was a “moukawem”; was when you suggested that we should start investing in NUCLEAR power in order to resolve our electricity crisis (for peaceful purposes), just like Iran is doing. I especially appreciated the fact that you did say that you did not have exact figures, but… that it would be much cheaper than trying to resolve the crisis whilst relying on fossil fuel. Yes Hassouna, now is the time to tell the international community that this tiny country of ours (maybe yours) is about to follow on the footsteps of the country of your sponsors/masters, plagued by international sanctions. Yalla, why not. Ask Ahmedinajad to provide us with enriched uranium (for peaceful purposes that is) and the North Korean to help us build (for free) power plants. Why not, let us all together witness the effect of internationally imposed sanctions on 4.5 million people of whom the majority can hardly make ends meet (mainly those who are not sponsored by Iranian money).
Hassouna, you are a great man; for throughout your televised speech there was no mention of the deadly clashes that were taking place tonight in Beirut involving your men. Yes your cause is greater than to reflect on a few rockets that were fired amongst your people and your foes which caused people to reminisce about civil strife. It’s all good, and the “moukawameh” is greater than any individual.
Just like you said the rumors of indictments of unruly members of Hizbullah makes you laugh, for according to you those are only part of the followers and not “cadre” of you divine party. And to that I say: “How far will your jaw drop if Mughnieh is even mentioned in the STL probe”?. I guess Moughnieh was nothing more than a blind follower.

Hassouna, after your latest speech (and I don’t think I will bother with any future ones) I have decided to join the “Moukawameh”; not yours, but the true “moukawameh”; that with a sole purpose to kick your arse (and those who believe in you) out of my home. And my home is LEBANON.