Saturday, December 18, 2010

The MOTHERland.

Not such a simple word, but a word nevertheless; which many used and still uses, coupled with a feeling of warmth and belonging. A word that pops out in conversations between friends and strangers alike over tea, drinks, diner, or even multi million business deals; in referral to a place of birth. A word strong enough, that if squeezed properly into any conversation could open the door to many opportunities.
And what if your MOTHERland was Lebanon? How would you fare within a casual conversation, in comparison to those born in Armenia, Yugoslavia, Kurdistan,…etc, or even the “Jews”?
You might ague your way that your ancestors invented the 7arf, ourjouan,Gebran Khalil Gebran… and even the fact that your cedars were mentioned in the bible; but where do you stand today?
Your glory days have long gone and are almost forgotten; for your recent history has been forever tarnished.
Yet those ingrate siblings (to the MOTHERland) still feel superior to their fellow man; arguing achievements hardly remembered (if not only by a few remaining academics). I ask of you my fellow Lebanese: When did you last contribute to this world, and moreover what was your contribution? Was it your arrogance, you superiority complex, your hatred for one another, your recent lack of culture, your down town Beirut (more like an Arab brothel), your example of democracy, your respect for women’s rights, your educational system, or even the only true “resistance” movement?
This MOTHERland of ours (the few Lebanese remaining) has suffered the worst kind of labor giving birth to all her children; and through the years witnessed two thirds of them abandon her, seeking the warmth of some other surrogate mother.
And those who stayed, just like any teenager, rebelled.
As the years went by the MOTHERland was used and abused, in a way never documented before (once again we are pioneers). And there she stood lovingly silent waiting for the “recognition” phase. A simple “Mea culpa” would have sufficed, for all to be forgotten, and harmony (amongst her children) to reign again
But those words were never uttered!
Abuse led to more abuse. And some even took it further to call the MOTHERland a whore, citing the previous rapes she suffered in order to justify the venom they were throwing at her face. Little do they know that they are the fruit of such a barbaric rape, and that the MOTHERland nurtured them and gave them a safe haven against all those who thought it was best to opt for an abortion.
This MOTHERland I am writing about today is nothing short of every single mother who had to bite her lip (until it bled) in silence when one (if not all) of her children thought he knew best. This is the same mother who stayed awake waiting for her last child to come home in order to make sure that all her children were safe, and was the first one to awake and make breakfast. This is the same mother who never expected anything in return, but was “hoping” for some appreciation and a little (just a little) respect. But moreover this is the mother who loved all her children the same unequivocally.

I am writing about the mother who faced all the dangers that came her way and had just one worry, that no harm will fall upon her children, regardless of her own life. I am writing about a mother, OUR mother, OUR MOTHERland who is now dying at the hands of those she gave birth to and are now digging her grave.
So if your regard LEBANON as your MOTHERland (and even if it so happens that your mother is called Loubnan) just bow in respect , for you will never ever find a love as true and everlasting.

The Lebanese Jester

Monday, November 22, 2010

Independence day !

When a picture "paints" a thousand words.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Not even close !


Nation: A politically unified people occupying a definite territory

Nation: A large group of people of the same race who share the same language, traditions and history, but who might not all live in one area.

And since, we Lebanese are convinced that God has given us the gift to surpass all other nations with our intellect and wit; I will leave it up to you, my fellow "chosen people" to pick which quote you deem is most suitable:

“A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on”. J.F.K

"Nations do not think, they only feel. They get their feelings at second hand through their temperaments, not their brains. A nation can be brought -- by force of circumstances, not argument -- to reconcile itself to any kind of government or religion that can be devised; in time it will fit itself to the required conditions; later it will prefer them and will fiercely fight for them." Mark Twain

"There was never a nation that became great until it came to the knowledge that it had nowhere in the world to go for help." Charles Dudley Warner

"Nations! What are nations? Tartars! and Huns! and Chinamen! Like insects they swarm. The historian strives in vain to make them memorable. It is for want of a man that there are so many men. It is individuals that populate the world." Henry David Thoreau

"If there be no nobility of descent in a nation, all the more indispensable is it that there should be nobility of ascent -- a character in them that bear rule, so fine and high and pure, that as men come within the circle of its influence, they involuntarily pay homage to that which is the one pre-eminent distinction, the Royalty of Virtue." Henry Codman Potter

"The history of any nation follows an undulatory course. In the trough of the wave we find more or less complete anarchy; but the crest is not more or less complete Utopia, but only, at best, a tolerably humane, partially free and fairly just society that invariably carries within itself the seeds of its own decadence." Aldous Huxley

"The soil of their native land is dear to all the hearts of mankind." Marcus Tullius Cicero

"A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm, thoughtful, and restrained. It can afford to extend a helping hand to others. It's a weak nation, like a weak person, that must behave with bluster and boasting and rashness and other signs of insecurity." Jimmy Carter

"The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there." Edouard Manes

"As long as I have any choice, I will stay only in a country where political liberty, toleration, and equality of all citizens before the law are the rule." Albert Einstein

"The nations morals are like its teeth, the more decayed they are the more it hurts to touch them." George Bernard Shaw

And now that you have taken the time (and if you actually did) to read all of the above, do make your pick as to what you think reflects the current situation.

Somehow for me, nothing applies for we as Lebanese have yet to indintefy with our motherland first before we can claim identity.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hassan and the honor of the divine vagina !

A sigh of relief I had when I caught the last part of our divine protector speech tonight.
Finally someone had the balls to stand up for Lebanese honor which (as he claims) is being trampled upon by the Western evil that is the STL.
How dare those foreign, loosed morals, Zionist tainted investigators question the state of local vagina's?

Shame and damnation on all of us, who do not see the disgrace in such a blatant invitation to debauchery!
Thank you, oh great one for I will now run to my wife gynecologist and ask for her file, just in case she might have implanted (and you know where) some weird communication device enabling the enemy to track my ins and outs.
Wlek tfeh !

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

You are not welcome Mr Ahmadinejad !

Today we will witness a warm welcome to the devil incarnate (Ahmadinejad) and another black page will be added to Lebanon’s history.
To all of you who are still in the dark as to why many of us oppose such a visit, one reason could be the support it brings to our local devil, and why devil you might ask ?

Just a reminder:

Monday, October 04, 2010

Fuck me gently part II.

Fuck me gently; for I fail to understand (once again) why, as a TRUE LEBANESE (a dying breed) I still cannot comprehend:
1) Why during today’s parliament session, no clear condemnation was made with regards to the latest Syrian blunder against Lebanon’s sovereignty.
2) Why the warrant against Jamil al Sayyed (the instigator of the latest Syrian blunder) remains unexecuted.
3) Why once again the subject of financing the STL was postponed.
4) And moreover, why a firm stand was not made (by our so called elected government) with regards to “our” commitment to know “the truth”.
5) Why have we never logged a complaint within the UN or even the (dysfunctional) Arab League for compensation against our sisterly state for damages (and theft) throughout 30 years of hegemony.
6) Why have we not logged a complaint within the UN (and this is not for the sake of keeping the Hizbollahi’s happy) against damages incurred on the hands of the state (and yes I am saying “state”) of Israel.
7) Why is it that as, a state we still haven’t defined our maritime borders (internationally); and yet we go up in arms with regards to shared sea gaz pockets.
8:) Why is it that we (recently) established diplomatic exchange with our sisterly neighbor, but we still do not have defined borders.
9) Why is it that after having dismantled so many spy networks we still don’t know the whereabouts of Joseph Sader.
Many more questions can spring to mind, and not only on a political basis; so brace yourselves for more episodes of “fuck me gently”, which will encompass more aspects of TRUE LEBANESE daily life.
N.B: Fuck me gently, for I fail to understand why Goatee Saad is prime minister!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Fuck me gently!

Fuck me gently; for I fail to understand why, as a TRUE LEBANESE (a dying breed) still cannot comprehend:
1) Why the STL is a Zionist entity (according to SOME) without any concrete proof.
2) Why Wi’am Wahab is still allowed to profess publicly  the return of Syrian tanks (and being proud of it) into Lebanese territory in order (according to him) prevent civil strife.3) Why a few days before the commemoration of Sabra and Chatilla did Sami Gemayel deemed it fit to recall the collaboration with Israel.
4) Why did Goatee Saad El Dine “vainly” attempted to exonerate the Syrian regime from all the political assassinations which took place, at least since 2005.
5) Why this sudden urge on the behalf of Americans and Israeli diplomats to include Syria (and maybe Lebanon) in the peace talks with Israel.
6) Why the hint of the willingness to withdraw from the Golan Heights in return for peace talks.
7) Why the local threat (from the representatives of our “divine” protector’s spokes people) of uprising by the end of September, if the STL was not abandoned by the government.
8) Why was Jamil Al Sayyed is allowed to dish out so much “unfounded” accusations on many local TV stations.
9) Why Michel Aoun (who is part of the government) can go on TV and call for civil disobedience.
The above is nothing but a few questions any TRUE LEBANESE should ask himself; but it doesn’t stop there.
A) Nadim Gemayel went on to assert his conviction that all the killings which took place during the Syrian hegemony are directly related to the Syrian Baathist regime. Some might argue that his speech emanated from a deep rooted feeling that it was about time he reclaimed his father’s (Sheikh Bashir) legacy that might have been shadowed by the fiery speeches of his cousin Sami, maybe, rightly so. For any Lebanese (and not only Christian) who believed in Bashir’s ideology, they were (to say the least) disappointed by the way Amin (his brother) pretended to keep his ideology alive. Never forget that Amin at the end of his presidential term created the vacuum, whereby appointing Michel Aoun head of the transitional government. Once Amin sat on the “cursed” presidential chair, the Kataeb began its downward spiral. From Hajj to Pakradouni to Amin’s exile to France (not that he was suffering), to the Kataeb we know today. Pierre the founder is long dead, and so is Pierre the grandson (May God rest his soul, and not because I adhere to the Kataeb); but the kataeb we know today is far from Bashir’s Kataeb. Sami can never rekindle the light of his uncle, he does not have the charisma, nor does he have the deep rooted convictions. Nadim on the other (after his last speech) hand might be on the right track.
B) Jamil El Sayyed rantings about the STL, Said Mirza, False witnesses…etc; even if they were all true allegations; can any Lebanese forget the crimes this Syrian puppet perpetrated against fellow Lebanese? Did we forget how the ISF (under his directorate and the cover of Adnan Addoum) use to dismantle demonstrations calling for freedom, independence, sovereignty, and territorial integrity (and this is a reminder to Michel Aoun)?
C) Who the Fuck is Wi’am Wahab and how many Druze does he represent? Where does he come from to be able to go on every single local TV station dishing out his threats against the government and politicians and getting away with it? Why is it, NOW allowed to air such detrimental speeches to “al wifak al watani”, and not long ago MTV was shut down?
D) Why is it that Syria (our sister state) never lifted a finger when we were under attack and still claims that it has our best interest at heart (tawhid al massareyn). Not one single rocket was ever fired into Israel (our “only” enemy) from Syrian territories; but Syria does have pawns in Lebanon (such as Ahmad Gebril) to do its dirty work.
E) Why is America so eager to send envoys to Lebanon and Syria (and especially Syria) at the “re-start” of the Israeli-Palestinian peace talks? Who do you think will be higher on the US priority table (as an ally against an eventual Iranian strike) Lebanon or Syria?
F) This letter should stand for FUCK you Lebanese Christians (especially those who follow Michel Aoun), if you think the next “CIVIL” war (and I think it is on our doorsteps) will be Sunni against Shiaa; you are right in the middle.
Have you noticed that for once I did not mention nor bash Hizbollah? I don’t need to; Michel Aoun (Hizbollah’s proxy) has made sure to alienate all hope of a free and independent Lebanon.

N.B: No, I will not let you fuck me gently. For, like the Palestinians thought in the mid 70’s that they could take over MY land; Syria will never return and we (TRUE LEBANESE) will never be part of Walayat Al Fakih. And this is the true meaning of “MOUKAWAMEH”.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I am a “Moukawem”.

Thank you Hassouna, for yet another enlightened/divine speech. Tonight your moderate tone finally convinced me of your righteousness. Yes you are our supreme leader; nazih and charif.
Mea culpa for having doubted your patriotic drive and the selfishness, no other local politician ever showed me (including those who lost their lives).
Your magnanimous words with regards to the families of those newly found spies, and how they should not be labeled and singled out (especially the “daughters”); made me not pay much attention to the fact that you called for their quick execution (if only I could post on youtube a British documentary that was made by NTV entertainment in 1995 about the savagery of executions and the death penalty which shows in its last couple of minutes how your party executed (without a trial) an alleged 3amil in front of his mother). Apart from your “relatively” calm tone of voice (and with no finger waving for a change) your female audience was showing hair. Could this be the dawn of a new “infitah” era? I must say I was impressed. More so (and not dwell in the pile of empty rhetoric and non founded justification to your divine message) when you suggested that the government should seek (after having agreed to the extensive shopping list for the LAF) during Dr. Ahmadinejad’s (the protector of all human rights) upcoming visit to Lebanon to extend its begging hand, and seek (the more than willing) Iranian’s help (of course with no strings attached, but only for the love it has for their brother Lebanese) in order to provide the LAF with the needed weapons, ie: missiles, armor piercing rockets…etc
Ya sayyed Hassan, why not at the same time, since the Iranians are so eager to help us (for free, and no strings attached) not ask for submarines, fighter planes and any other “offensive” weaponry they have in their arsenal.
In all fairness you did start, ya Hassouna, this segment of your speech by including all Arab countries and asking them to relinquish part of their military arsenal which is being stockpiled, and about to become obsolete; for better use in Lebanon (the only country who is on the frontline with our only and arch enemy Israel). I guess the answer to that is “Beggars can be choosers”.
But what really swayed me to your side, and made me wish I was a “moukawem”; was when you suggested that we should start investing in NUCLEAR power in order to resolve our electricity crisis (for peaceful purposes), just like Iran is doing. I especially appreciated the fact that you did say that you did not have exact figures, but… that it would be much cheaper than trying to resolve the crisis whilst relying on fossil fuel. Yes Hassouna, now is the time to tell the international community that this tiny country of ours (maybe yours) is about to follow on the footsteps of the country of your sponsors/masters, plagued by international sanctions. Yalla, why not. Ask Ahmedinajad to provide us with enriched uranium (for peaceful purposes that is) and the North Korean to help us build (for free) power plants. Why not, let us all together witness the effect of internationally imposed sanctions on 4.5 million people of whom the majority can hardly make ends meet (mainly those who are not sponsored by Iranian money).
Hassouna, you are a great man; for throughout your televised speech there was no mention of the deadly clashes that were taking place tonight in Beirut involving your men. Yes your cause is greater than to reflect on a few rockets that were fired amongst your people and your foes which caused people to reminisce about civil strife. It’s all good, and the “moukawameh” is greater than any individual.
Just like you said the rumors of indictments of unruly members of Hizbullah makes you laugh, for according to you those are only part of the followers and not “cadre” of you divine party. And to that I say: “How far will your jaw drop if Mughnieh is even mentioned in the STL probe”?. I guess Moughnieh was nothing more than a blind follower.

Hassouna, after your latest speech (and I don’t think I will bother with any future ones) I have decided to join the “Moukawameh”; not yours, but the true “moukawameh”; that with a sole purpose to kick your arse (and those who believe in you) out of my home. And my home is LEBANON.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My take on Palestinians civil rights in Lebanon.

Before you go any further in your reading, allow me in all modesty to point out to you once again my (few) readers the fact that I do not adhere to any political party; and moreover I am for the harsh prosecution of all our (past and present) political leaders.
Having said that, and keeping in mind that the bloggosphere has been busing lately (after a long period of silence) with two main topics which somehow are related; One that of breaking the Israeli embargo on Gaza, and second, that of Walid Beyk (imminent) proposal for Palestinian (refuges in Lebanon) human and civil rights.
 I have read many articles about the later subject and participated (shyly, in order not to offend) in some “web” debates, and still (as a human) I could not be swayed.
So here is my view on this particular “hot” topic, regardless of what I think of Walid Beyk.

Yes every single human being has the right to a decent life, to have his basic rights protected, access to basic medical care, schooling, a roof over his head, to live with dignity, to be able to work and be a “constructive” part of society..etc.
In order to enjoy and be given such rights a person should abide by certain rules, especially when he is a host in a foreign land (to say the least and not use the term “refugee”).
The Palestinian problem was not caused by Lebanon, and it was not the Lebanese who deprived the Palestinians from their homeland; on the contrary, Lebanon (albeit forcibly) not only accepted a big influx of refugees, but (wrongly) signed the Cairo treaty giving Yasser Arafat and his group of thugs a free hand not only to cause mayhem, but also (at a certain point in time) try to establish the state of Palestine within the Lebanese borders.

No I won’t join; nor would I root for any flotilla trying to break the siege of Gaza, for according to me those who voted for a (so called) terrorist governance knew what they were getting themselves into.  Why should I help people who are not only divided amongst themselves, but people who tried to take over my country and contributed greatly to the 180,000 dead during our 15 years of war?
Before you get on your high horses and burn me to the stake, allow me to remind you of a sample of what took place in Lebanon between 1975 and 1982 (in order to keep this post relatively readable) at the hands of those refugees which some of our leaders are now claiming to be oppressed by their host country.

1)May 20, 1975
Five people were killed and 24 were wounded in Dekwaneh
Violent confrontations opposed Palestinians from the Tell El Zaatar camp and Phalange Party members. Businesses were closed in protest against the lack of security.

2)January 20, 1976
Damour massacre
Avenging the massacre of Karantina by Christian forces 2 days before, Palestinians and leftist Muslims attacked the Christian city of Damour, located about 20 kilometers south of Beirut, and murdered 350 civilians.

3)August 17, 1976
The Upper-Metn battle started. Over 600 shells fell on Faraya-Oyoune El Simane while Palestinians and Progressive forces continued their insane bombing of the capital.

January 6, 1978
The Begin Plan concerning the settlement of Palestinians in Lebanon made some noise.
The Lebanese reacted with firmness and indignation to the conspiracy initiated by foreign countries. According to Salim El Hoss, 'Every project expecting the settlement of Palestinians outside of their land is rejected.' The President of the Republic also rejected any project stipulating the permanent settlement of Palestinians in Lebanon. 'Our country should determine itself what it is able to offer. It is unfair to solve the Palestinian question by creating a Lebanese problem. We will make every effort to let our right prevail, he said.

4)May 2, 1978
A fight opposed the UNIFL and the Palestinians. The French barrack in Tyr was bombed and the commander of the French contingent was seriously injured.

5)April 14, 1982
A general war was raging between Amal and the Palestinians. Meanwhile, the fights continued in the South and reached Beirut and its suburbs where 15 deaths were reported.

6)July 19, 1982
While Beirut was still under blockade, sporadic confrontations opposed the Israelis and the Palestinians, and innocent victims continued to fall. The President of the AUB, David Dodge, was kidnapped in the middle of the campus.

The above mentioned facts, are whether we like or not, part of our bloody history; and more recent are the rockets fired from our homeland (after the 2006 war) into our arch enemy Israel from Palestinian factions such as Ahmad Jebril. What if Israel retaliated then? What rights can you give to people who have no respect towards the well being of the people of their host country?  Would you give, let alone accept, into your own home someone who raises his children on hate (and teach him at a young age how to use weapons) towards “some” of your fellow citizens? Please do not even attempt to reply with Sabra and Chatila, for I have seen firsthand what the PLO, Fath and Al Sa3ika did to fellow Lebanese (before Sabra and Chatila), including to those who now are the “prince valiant” to the Palestinian cause (Iztaz included).

Walid Beyk, sorry! Go suck on an egg. “Atfal Al hijara” go free Palestine, but not from my country!

N.B: For a comprehensive list of events from 1974 to 1990 visit: 111101

Friday, June 18, 2010

My keyboard and I fell into a disagreement.

Too hungry for cell power, or getting too old and begging to retire; lately my keyboard has been acting erratically, skipping characters and making me look like a worst speller than I actually am. It got me thinking to the days when the written word was actually written and not typed via the use of the “dactylo” (typewriter). Then every time a mistake was done, the entire paper had to be retyped again; requiring even more time and effort (and definitely not environmentally friendly). In the eighties I worked in an Arabic publishing house where we use to receive numerous manuscripts (exceeding a hundred pages) from hopeful writers, hand written. The process was for a team to read all those stories and pick up the few that the company judged worth publishing, and those few went on to proof reading and editing ending up being transcribed onto the linotype machine before going to print (skipping a few stages).
The “written” word then held more value than most of the written words we read today. Then the process of putting your thoughts onto paper was a long and tedious process which every writer struggled before he was sure that his was true to his message. They did not rely on “wordperfect” or even “word” to spell check (wrongly at times) or even correct their grammar; they just spilled their guts on “pen and paper”.
Some claim to be able to depict ones character by analyzing one’s calligraphy, the way they loop their L’s and O’s. the tail on their J’s up or down..etc. I tend to agree, a “hand” written note can tell much more about the author’s state of mind than any “typed” text filled with beautiful words.
So, here I go : “ I love you”.
What do you make of it?

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Pull String Human

A fellow blogger Rami e-mailed me the following link to a locally made short video. Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Forgotten Sons !

Although born to the land of the Cedars, I embarked in the mid eighties on my quest for greener pastures and ended up in England. Too cold and disconnected I felt in the beginning; so I travelled back and forth to the next best thing (France notre mère patrie), only to find that we did share a common evil.

My travels took me to different places where I encountered many different cultures. But what I found (in retrospect) disturbing was that, we Lebanese have not yet moved forward. Most of the countries I have visited and lived in have had their fare share of strife documented in their history books, and such a page was turned. But we, Lebanese, still live reminiscent of our bloody past, refusing to turn the page; and moreover anxiously awaiting for the next (bloody) chapter.
My curiosity took me to Belfast Ireland in order not to better comprehend, but to compare. Maybe it was the evil part of me who felt the need to get a whiff of freshly spilled blood or maybe it was just my own twisted way to fit in.

I was somehow disappointed, for I was touched by the goodness of every single soul I encountered.
16 years later I thought I had tamed the devil in me, and I came back home with open arms and an open mind. This Euphoria did not last long. The animal instinct in me started resurfacing and finding a breeding ground within the smallest memory I could recall from my stolen childhood even at the expense of the few good days I had before the war. Before all hell broke loose my grandmother use to sing us to sleep to Moustaki, Grecco, Reggiani, Aznavour…etc; and what springs to my mind these days (when I think of such artists) is (could not find Moustaki's version on youtube):

Endless nights whilst I was listening to Cohen (before I left into myself inflicted exile) have I been moved by his words and how I could relate to them; today by admitting to that I am a traitor. A traitor to those who decided to have a selective memory, to those who forgot that at a certain point in time they were convinced that me, and the likes of me would be better off dead; and so they tried.

This is supposed to be my golden years, and I came to spend them “bi trab baladi”, but “baladi” has changed to the extent that I feel it is no longer mine. No, I won’t give up, I will reclaim it. I will shed my blood again if need be. I want the “cocody”, “spinneys” by the airport road, the Latin Church at the beginning of Hamra street, “Toyland”, Aysar 3amer” …etc; I want my son to witness all that and never to have to feel the need to carry a weapon against his fellow brother and fend for his life. One major hurdle to my aspirations is Hizbullah. And in order to spare my son's blood, I am willing to shed mine so that he will not have to go through what I had to in order to preserve "his" freedom and this land that is his home.

N.B: Where is Joseph Sader??????

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Snap: I have !

This title has nothing to do with what took place in Ketermaya, but still it had an effect on me. It did add to my conviction that we are no longer worthy, not just as Lebanese; but as human beings. In comparison it made me realize how fragile we all are. This incident made me realize that I still have an iota of humanity still brewing within my tormented soul. Even my twisted faith which would have dictated to me some righteous act of preservation is no longer valid. I am filled with anger, much more than any human can take. I have in the past vented such anger in despicable ways; but tonight, I saw tears in your eyes. And all my ailments suddenly faded away, and YOU know they are too heavy to handle. Still I feel that I am misunderstood by many, but “many” do not count; for I never entered a popularity contest. What you have failed to realize is that, according to me, I have paid my dues ten times fold and long for some reprieve. I now just want to retire and live peacefully. And peacefully for me is with you.
So take me for what I am, my job, my addictions, my ever changing mood, my faults (which I admit to); the same way I take you for what you are and all your shortcomings. Yes too hard to handle, but bear in mind that you can never enter my psyche; I don’t even dare to go there anymore. Too many memories and way too many feelings suppressed waiting to surface that it even scares me.
Damaged goods, yes according to many, but in comparison I mended my ways, and here I am years later still paying the price. When will it all end I say,  I am only looking for piece of mind; but my past is still biting me up the arse.

Tiered and weary I have become in all aspects of life. I have been run dry, and the fighter in me is now ready to let it all go for the “eternal sleep” that for awhile I have been longing for. But tonight, your tears made me realize that my time has not come yet.
My love for you has given me the strength to live even if it was for just another day, to make sure that you were OK.
And then, and only then, I could lay my had to sleep !

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Addressed not to one exclusively (maybe extensively), but to too many.

Even if I lately wish that the end was near and anxiously await the final curtain, I do hope for a sneak preview. Just a simple glimpse, so that I can rest in peace; and rest I am in lack of.
What if when I am drawing my last breath God gave me the luxury to be my own judge, it is a notion I have been toying with lately. This ludicrous idea did not come about out of schizophrenia nor did it emanate from a deep sense of guilt; on the contrary, this twisted state of mind stems from a complete feeling that I have tried my best to accommodate all those I HELD dear and so far never compromised. Endless efforts were made on my behalf trying to accommodate and accept, but rarely did I feel that I was met even half way. And still, regardless of this deep urge to throw everything out the window, regardless of consequences to those involved; I find myself waiting for some more.
Completely drained and disappointed. Even more, disillusioned and disgusted, to the extent that I just wish for all to let me lay down and rest. But you know damn well that this could not happen, for the final score has not been settled yet. So to some I say: let your “hired” spies feed you with the recurrent poison blinding your way. To others: let the lies you told so often become “the ultimate truth” for you have repeated them one time too many. And to some: "my giving well" has run dry, seek another.

If tonight in my sleep I draw my last breath, I know that my creator will meet me with his arms wide open. And if tomorrow I wake up and face yet another day, I solemnly promise to drastically change my ways.

Enough of this fake camaraderie and fake loyalties; no more efforts on my behalf.

Tonight I challenge the devil and reclaim back my life!

A bon entendeur, SALUT !

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Commemorating a lesson NOT learned !

No matter how hard you try (especially my generation) to move forward and turn the page, the (bloody) past has a knack to come back and bite you in the arse.
On the 13th of April, and for a few years now, this holier than thaw attitude has been the subject of competition between the “competing” local TV stations ,which are the bullhorn of most militias whom I hold responsible for the death of 150000- 200000 fellow Lebanese. Amazingly enough they all seem to agree (wrongly) on the image of Ain El Roumaneh bus as the start of all evil that cursed this Biblical land of ours. In order to keep this latest rambling of mine short, I might grant all those who believe in this fallacy the pleasure in dwelling in this false pretext for the (according to me) war started with the Imposed signature of the Cairo treaty and the “flint” was the Kissinger plan. Call me a conspiracy theorist or even a moron, but this was, and still is my conviction.

On the eve of the 13th of April, I do not want (or at least I try not to) lay the blame on anyone anymore.
On the eve of the 13th of April I wish for this new generation to finally draw lessons from our bloody past.
But how could they???
This same generation I am referring to, is being brought up in an environment more entrenched in sectarianism and fanaticism then I ever witnessed in the late 70’s when I was still a teenager. Before the war broke out (because of the bus incident or not is now irrelevant, but not to me) teenagers did not (in general) pay much attention to religious following according to family names. My generation, intentionally or not, made the divide even greater. Rebellious teens found a new slogan to use against their parents, such as “la lil ta2fiah” which they proudly put as bumper stickers on their cars; but when push came to shove they were more than happy to use derogative terms towards their fellow citizens.
Friends of mine published a humorous blog on their page, which prompted me to write tonight. It is not the contents as such, but the mere picture of the Holiday Inn hotel, and the vivid memory of a man plunging to his death trying to evade an even worst fate. What followed I will spare you, for it is too painful for me to recall, although many have lived even worst.
And you think that we have learned our lesson.
How can we; when we are still harboring all sorts of banned fanatic clerics, mullahs, terrorists, Schizophrenics child murderer (Samir Kuntar), convicted murderers (Ahmad Gibril), strive towards peace, prosperity and most of all security for our children. All those who died during the 15 years of “civil” war are turning in their graves.
Why you might ask?
One example will suffice, and that of the man who threw himself from the Holliday Inn and is now rotten in his grave watching goatee Saad shake hands with Geagea. And this is only one example. 15 years of war and 150000- 200000 martyrs never would they have shed (in their majority) their blood if they knew that Hassouna will be the ultimate dictator treading the same grounds they are buried under. Even the Imam Moussa Al Sadr is turning in his grave.
I sure hope that the day will not come when we will commemorate the 7th of May as the day when HIzbollahistan was born.

Friday, April 02, 2010

LBC 1, MTV 0

Ever since MTV was allowed to grace us once again with its “supposedly” non biased opinion, I found myself steering away from the LBC news segment. Being a fervent disciple of a free Lebanon (free of Syrian hegemony), I found hope in this TV station that was once silenced because of its ballsy attempt to just state facts. Well this “Cinderella” notion of mine did not last long.
For those who know me on a personal level, are aware that I have invested (after many years of self exile) myself in what I thought was the “rise of the phoenix”. I came back home against all odds in order to repay (or even contribute towards) my dues to this motherland. Upon my return I had my fair share of disappointments and cultural shock. But I never gave up. The struggle to justify my decision to come back is still ongoing. I was graced with a son (born in England) but from Lebanese decent. I have tried to instill within his very young soul the love of the motherland. I have showed him the scares that were inflicted upon me during the 15 years of civil war; and tried to inculcate within his virgin soul the morals that were ripped from me when I was his age.
Yes I am blabbering and trying to find a way or a “preanbule” to the text that will follow. I am man who decided to uproot a child from the safety of civil society which could have provided him with all the basic necessities and the respect owned, and “dumped” him amongst people who would sell their own mothers for a fistful of dollars. Mea culpa.
I, like many others in this Biblical land came to acknowledge that in order to secure a (relatively) bright future to our sons, could not rely on a simple white collar job. So I invested my hard earned savings in the ONLY segment in the motherland that seemed to be striving, and could yield a high rate of return. I invested in Gemmayzeh. One building over two floors, and I (and my partners alike) decided to make do with “wasta” and be the first to engage in business the “proper” way. Well needless to say we were FUCKED left right and center by Lebanese bureaucracy. Still we bite our lip and make do with the situation at hand. The project went over budget while waiting for the proper licenses even after greasing the “paws” of one too many politicians and government officials.
Then we thought we had it made, not because of monies paid and free dinners, but for we thought we had finally fulfilled all the perquisite regulations which would entitle us to engage in business legally.
So I thought (wrongly it seems) that I was working towards leaving some sort of legacy to my son (and so did those I have convinced to invest in my project) knowing that after graduating from college (if ever he could find a job locally) his salary will not suffice to rent him a room in a half decent place within this 10452Km2.
My plans (and my far-fetched worries) did not include (even in my wildest dreams) what is taking place today. Today I have came to the bitter conclusion that my fellow Lebanese deserve to rot in hell. I, as a non practicing, but raised Christian could not believe nor comprehend the amount of selfishness and hatred that was blurted by some of the people who participated in the “Kalam al nass” program.
Before I go any further I have to pay tribute to Marcel Ghanem for having shown (to my utter surprise) a true journalistic integrity in comparison to that constipated MTV presenter Abou Nader Al Hindi who thinks that the sun only shines out of her own wrinkled arse (maybe for carrying somehow in a shy way her husband's name). During his program Mr. Ghanem tried his best to show both sides of the story, and yes I am representative of one of one those sides having invested (along with my partners) over a million dollars. Needless to say that we have met with the residents of Gemmayzeh(on many occasions); the same people who rented us spaces then not fit to be used for stables, not for horses, but for donkeys at exorbitant prices, knowing damn well what our intentions were; and then they had no reservations upon contract signature. Miss, Ms, or Mrs Fadia Kiwan found it fit to organize a few sit ins, along with Pilipino maids (ill treated or not, I will leave it up to you), in their pajamas claiming that we are depriving her (and other “landlords") from a goodnight sleep. Another anal retentive dickhead (I think his name was Nabil) in the midst of screaming through the microphone, pulled out a box of “Lexo” in a vain attempt to draw attention (while it was obvious that he was high on God knows what) to his alleged lack of sleep.

But most shocking of all, was our dear minister of tourism (who comes from an industrial background) and kept on claiming that in Gemmayzeh “night clubs” and “super night clubs” are the main cause of the problem. Get a grip Mr Abboud, if your inquisition is aimed at “Night Clubs” and “Super Night Clubs” maybe you should target Solidere and Maameltein, but not Gemmayezeh. Yes you said it, and I agree with you; you haven’t signed any new licenses in Gemmayazeh, but why may I ask? The answer is very simple; there are no more vacancies or places to rent and you are what I call a "pied tendre"in your newly found office. Those FUCKS you are supposedly protecting are the one and the same landlords who signed over their leases to us in the knowledge that the premises will be used not for a bookshop, a pharmacy, a corner shop..etc but for pubs, and what they are now calling “mahchachat”. If it were not for investors like me, and many others, Gemmayzeh would be like Badaro at night; a ghost town.
Minister of tourism my Arse Mr. Abboud, you are nothing by a reflection of the demented General you follow and whom is driving us into Hizbollahstan at a pace faster than the speed of light. I dare you to go to Hamra and some of the “residential perpendicular” streets and issue warrants of closing. Wlek TFEH 3alek wa 3ala m3almak!.

Close down Gemmayzeh you “moronic” minister of tourism. I just wish that all those concerned will reopen in Rabieh and let your demented general enjoy a goodnight sleep. Maybe then he will move to another location and actually have to pay rent!!!

Like I have said it before “do not bite the hand that feed you”, but this time I will add FUCK YOU you ingrate penny chasing, low life, social parasites (residents of Gemmayzeh). If I was to shove a charcoal up your arses, within less than a month I would have had diamond field.
TFEH !!!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The drums of war are beating loud.

The drums of war are once again beating loud on all sides of the fence waiting for one side to cross the red line. All sides agree that if there is to be war, this time it has to be decisive. Casualties of war are no longer considered, for the only aim (according to rhetoric, from both sides) is to obliterate the enemy. Although the feuding families in this tragedy are not only the Capulet and the Montague, but also their cousins (thrice removed) the Assad, Ahmadinajad, Nasrallah, Obama, Sarkozy,Brown…etc. I will only dwell on the impact this coming war will have on a little chapter better known as Lebanon.
I figured, after monitoring local and foreign press that the day of reckoning is fast approaching. I figured this out from various speeches (threats) from both south and north of the border neighbors, and from our local “divine” protector. A simple call (past Thursday) to readiness from the supreme leader of the masked epitome of evil (Ahmadinajad) to our enlightened “divine” protector; assured me that very soon the “divine” himself will test our faith (according to the seven pillars) and lead us straight to heaven.
But I am still convinced that my time to meet my creator (who might not be recognized by our “divine” protector) has not come yet, not by miles. “To Jerusalem and beyond” is my embedded crest for I have fought (along with Richard the lion heart) the heathen before you could even claim an inch of this BIBLICAL land.
When the next war will come; and I pray for the sake of my son (and not yours), that I will not, I will close my door to you and your people who will be seeking refuge. Provoked or not, for you and your bravado, have brought it, not only onto yourselves, but onto this entire nation. I will go even further and say that I will hold you and those who (blindly) follow you responsible for every single drop of bloodshed, no matter how disproportionate the response might be.
Hassan, you hold no respect, nor value for the living. The only way you can justify your (and your militia) existence is through your outdated notion of jihad even stretching outside local borders. From once “downtrodden” to now the example of what defaces this country, I not only claim that you are a traitor to Lebanon, but also to what IS a religion of the book which is supposed to professes love and tolerance.
When the next war breaks out, let arse lickers like Saad, Walid, Nabih, Suleiman, Karameh..etc open their doors to your followers (you will be, like expected, hiding in you bunker) welcome them; giving them the front row seats to watch Lebanon and its majority of peace loving people being burned to ashes.
But then again you might think why not, wads of cash (and only “halal” cash) will come from your sponsors to rebuild on an even better standard. So I guess you are only contributing to making Lebanon a better, nicer place.
No thank you very much. Keep your Samir Kuntar, Imad Moughnieh, Bilal, Abou salam, Abou Turab, Abu Ali…etc, to yourselves. I can cite hundreds, if not thousands of: Joseph, Antoine, Georges, Samir, Ziad, Mohamed, Constantine, Mitri, Walid, on different sides of the (local) fence who gave their life for Lebanon, but not for “wilayat al faqih”.
Ya Hassan, do not give me a lesson in patriotism.
The Lebanese courts passed the death sentence less than a couple of weeks ago on 3 traitors working for our arch enemy Israel. They should at least convict you, if lenient, for involuntary manslaughter for what you did in 2006.

Wake up you orange flag branding morons, your leader’s stupidity has given our “divine” protector legitimacy to push us further into the abyss. No Micho is not the second coming of the Christ, he is more like David Koresh and Wako II is Rabieh !

That day is coming fast !

Monday, February 15, 2010

St Valentine, or M14’s fallacy ?

Not only have we invented the “ourjouwan” color or the alphabet; but we Lebanese are pioneers in many fields. No wonder we are proud people (and so rightly so), Lebanon was mentioned 71 times in the Bible; and if Belinda Carlisle knew Lebanon, her song “heaven is a place on earth” would not have been written as a love song, but as a tribute to our country.
We (Lebanese) are direct descendants of God (ou meme la cuisse de Jupiter, depending on your religious beliefs). Lebanon is the true Garden of Eden, where it all began, and where it will all end. The notion some have that the Jews are the chosen people is nothing but a fallacy, a few millimeters on a geographical map, shy from the truth. We are the chosen ones!
Today we Lebanese have once again demonstrated to the entire world (and maybe the universe) that we are true pioneers; pioneers in having taken the art of absurdity, no worthiness, sold out bunch of ingrate selfish bastards, mindless “sheeple”, brainwashed pretentious narguilleh smoking selfish lazy wannabees arses.
The sight of goatee Saudi Saad waving his hand in salute as if he was the queen of England (and a queen he might as well be) grabbing Walid beik by the waist (obviously against his will) made sick to my stomach. The songs playing in the background and the festive mood on what should have been a grim reminder of our bloody (recent past) made my blood boil.
And they (M14) have the audacity to talk about their achievements in the past 5 years. The Cedar Revolution is dead! It officially died after the June elections when promises were broken one after the other. The Cedar Revolution was never the sole proprietorship of any political party, it was a movement from the people and TO the people, entrusted then (wrongly) to the current leadership. Today another nail (if not the final one) was put on its coffin.
Today, I and the entire world, witnessed the shrinking of your (M14) power base; and in a couple of days from now the entire world will witness the ever constant (if not growing) power of Hizbullah (the commemoration of their martyrs). And yet THE supreme leader of M14 (goatee Saad) deemed it fit to announce to the world (not very long ago) that the government will stand by Hizbollah in case of a new “aggression” (even if provoked) against Israel.
If only I was allowed to (safely) attend the Hizbullah commemoration, for I have more respect towards those who even if they have an agenda that I totally refute, are true to their promises and their following.
Sad to say, I hold MUCH more respect to those I am willing to dedicate my life to fight against their vision, than to the lot of you (M14).
Come next elections, not only I will not vote for you; I will vote against you.
Long live Imad Moughnieh and may God protect Samir Kuntar !