As far as I am concerned !

Patriarch Rai can grow his beard, wear a turban and lead us to another (devastating) divine victory.

Walid Jumblat can get on his Harley and ride unto the sunset never to be heard of again.

Nabih Berri can turn parliament into a big Roman orgy.

Samir Geagea can decide to become a monk in the hope to be canonized after his passing.

Saad Hariri can turn downtown Beirut into a red light district and become its higher paid customer.

Michel Aoun can direct and star in a new version of Mel brook’s history of the world.

Amine Gemayel can create his own line of hair care products.

Talal Arslan can open up a free psychiatric ward for all those who have an inferiority complex.

Hassan Nasrallah can get on his white horse waiving his sword (like Mar Elias) protecting all Arab widows and orphans.

As far as I am concerned, they, and all our political class, past and current might not even have a place reserved for them in hell, for the devil might be afraid that they will oust him.

Commemorating a lesson NOT learned !

No matter how hard you try (especially my generation) to move forward and turn the page, the (bloody) past has a knack to come back and bite you in the arse.
On the 13th of April, and for a few years now, this holier than thaw attitude has been the subject of competition between the “competing” local TV stations ,which are the bullhorn of most militias whom I hold responsible for the death of 150000- 200000 fellow Lebanese. Amazingly enough they all seem to agree (wrongly) on the image of Ain El Roumaneh bus as the start of all evil that cursed this Biblical land of ours. In order to keep this latest rambling of mine short, I might grant all those who believe in this fallacy the pleasure in dwelling in this false pretext for the (according to me) war started with the Imposed signature of the Cairo treaty and the “flint” was the Kissinger plan. Call me a conspiracy theorist or even a moron, but this was, and still is my conviction.


On the eve of the 13th of April, I do not want (or at least I try not to) lay the blame on anyone anymore.
On the eve of the 13th of April I wish for this new generation to finally draw lessons from our bloody past.
But how could they???
This same generation I am referring to, is being brought up in an environment more entrenched in sectarianism and fanaticism then I ever witnessed in the late 70’s when I was still a teenager. Before the war broke out (because of the bus incident or not is now irrelevant, but not to me) teenagers did not (in general) pay much attention to religious following according to family names. My generation, intentionally or not, made the divide even greater. Rebellious teens found a new slogan to use against their parents, such as “la lil ta2fiah” which they proudly put as bumper stickers on their cars; but when push came to shove they were more than happy to use derogative terms towards their fellow citizens.
Friends of mine published a humorous blog on their page, which prompted me to write tonight. It is not the contents as such, but the mere picture of the Holiday Inn hotel, and the vivid memory of a man plunging to his death trying to evade an even worst fate. What followed I will spare you, for it is too painful for me to recall, although many have lived even worst.
And you think that we have learned our lesson.
How can we; when we are still harboring all sorts of banned fanatic clerics, mullahs, terrorists, Schizophrenics child murderer (Samir Kuntar), convicted murderers (Ahmad Gibril), strive towards peace, prosperity and most of all security for our children. All those who died during the 15 years of “civil” war are turning in their graves.
Why you might ask?
One example will suffice, and that of the man who threw himself from the Holliday Inn and is now rotten in his grave watching goatee Saad shake hands with Geagea. And this is only one example. 15 years of war and 150000- 200000 martyrs never would they have shed (in their majority) their blood if they knew that Hassouna will be the ultimate dictator treading the same grounds they are buried under. Even the Imam Moussa Al Sadr is turning in his grave.
I sure hope that the day will not come when we will commemorate the 7th of May as the day when HIzbollahistan was born.

The winds of change.

Chavez and Ahmadi Najad are in cahoots even with regards to exchanging nuclear technology know how.

Russian vessel (Arctic Sea) kidnapped, allegedly carrying weapons to Iran. Talk about the Mossad being involved, and a secret visit by Israeli high officials to Russia in order to contain the story.

Turkey FM cancels visit to Israel.

Iraq blames Syria for Iraq terror.

4000 new settlements given the go ahead to be built in Israel/the occupied territory.

And in my country the only talk on the news is about how constitutional the new cabinet proposal was.

Fuck me gently for I worry about those changes and I ask. Since when:

Was the constitution ever respected.

Was, any past present and even future government truly representative of the will and aspiration of the people.

Was Lebanon a master of its own destiny.

Democracy gives way to those who lost elections, and still DEMAND the lion's share.

When the people sit idle (for it is the tourist season) and accept a 70 day stalemate.

Ya Elias, where are the Migs that you so proudly procured as a gift from the Russians? If I recall correctly we were supposed to have them by no later than August (I guess the Syrians will get theirs first). No you are not the only one who fell short of your (public) promises, and you are not the only one who let down those million + who took the streets in 2005. Goatee Saad has stepped over his Christian allies in his government proposal. Walid Beik has lost his credibility amongst many of his partners and Druze followers. Aoun has dug himself deeper into the grave of shame (thanks to Gebran Imbecile). And my fellow Lebanese lost the most.

An election took place, and results were cast. An election took place under the flag of a democracy that is second to none in our corner of the woods, so why not act accordingly. Why not? the answer is simple. Hizbullah's arsenal.

So my fellow Lebanese, I would advise you to reminisce, and long for the time when you lived under the Syrian boot; for then you could still fight. The excuse in those days was, I was fighting against an outsider, an occupying force.

But for the very few of you, who still have LEBANON flowing in your blood; those hindering bastards are not Lebanese by heart, soul, conviction or even allegiance. To all of you who took to the streets in 2005 and then onwards, for once speak out your mind. Pluck every single hair out of Saad's goatee and Hassouna's beard, demand that the Iztaz gives back the keys to parliament, that the so called doctor plants cedar trees in Becharre and leaves us alone, that Walid Beik rides his Harley into some far away sunset, that Micho finds an asylum that can accommodate his many psychological illnesses.But most of all my fellow Lebanese; REPENT. Repent, for what ails this country of ours is from your own doing!

Hooray, hooray; summer is here !

Hooray, hooray; summer is here, tourists are flocking and Lebanese are benefiting. Cabinet or not; who gives a damn. My country is once again attracting tourists spending their oily green dollars in local institutions. This summer Lebanon has regained it's place in tourist guides, not as "the Paris of the Middle East"; but more as the cheap brothel for low class (a better word would be NO CLASS) Middle Eastern carnal pleasure seeking half humans. As long as M14 and M8 keep (relatively) calm until early October, our dear one finger sandal wearing brothers will feel safe spending their money (and I will not dwell into how) in exchange of services we render. Youpppppppie, all is well!
So for the time being no one seems to care about, Saad, the Iztaz, the Doctor, the general (his son in law),the divine protector, the crazy guy from Moukhtara...etc, and especially no one seems to care about LEBANON.
My recollection of one of the countries I visited is depicted below, I wonder how would any "khaliji" describe his summer in Lebanon.



A place to lay me down to sleep: 55th & 5th

One of the best pizzas I ever had : 1295 3rd Avenue west Houston St

Dinner & a drink: 29E 65th St

Late night: 47W 20th st

Innocence found: 767 5th Avenue

Christmas lunch: West 67th st, central park west

And this is only one memory.

To those tourist who came with a "high" respect for the Lebanese (especially their women), and to those Lebanese who have lost all signs of respect; I dedicate (after my regular TFEH!) this song.