My Shinning

Turmoil wreaking havoc in my half rotten soul. A deluge of pictures on my TV screen rekindling sad chapters of my past. One sentence comes to mind (“all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”) with a vivid memory of the elevator door opening to a pool of blood.
And I wonder why!



I wonder why such choking pictures do not move me anymore. I can easily sit in my own comfort, watch gruesome pictures while giggling, when other spectators (watching the same movie) puked their guts out (and I am referring to the SHINING).
And I wonder why!



Is it because I have witnessed (and still am) such atrocities first hand, that I can dismiss the redness of blood on my TV screen and still have ketchup with my fries? Or is it a masked acknowledgment of the helplessness I feel?
15 years of war, over 150,000 dead, 480,000 refugees spread over 12 camps (harboring terror), a state within a (so called) state, failed attempts to take over, AND here I am watching. Watching and still shedding tears. When on my TV screen the ketchup turns into blood. The blood of children.
30 odd years ago (not to revert back even further) YOU drew first blood with disregard to the only (Arab) nation that stood by you and was FORCED to take on your “cause”. What did you do then? Attempt to take over is what you did. You bit the hand that was feeding you.
I am not running for elections on any level, nor do I have to appease business partners; but I have a duty towards myself and towards my child whose innocence is still untouched (for the time being).
The difference is that I would not raise my child within a culture that idolizes the cult of martyrdom, engraving within their mind that their sole duty is to die for the cause (and a false one); but to live and love.



All those who daily point their fingers in aggression pretending to have your best interest at heart (the likes of Mechaal and Hassouna), all those who refuses international mediation to end this useless bloodshed should pay with their own blood. Yes there is savagery in the war against Gazza, but there are also savage and criminal leaders who get their kicks from the massacres of their own people.
Enough with this culture of hatred (on all sides), we have “created” a new generation that has been impregnated with the seed of hatred and self destruction. What will the future hold for such nation?



And I still wonder why !
Why is it that I hold little if no sympathy towards what has become of the Palestinian cause, from oppressed, destitute, refugee, abused…etc to blind murderess rhetoric which holds no more sway. This feeling I started having in the mid seventies, and now it is growing stronger.
Yes once again you will see me as a typical son of Zion, devil incarnate, deprived of a human soul; but I do not give a toss. I am only saying out loud what many (including Palestinians) don’t even dare murmur amongst themselves.
The MAIN responsibility of this current slaughter lies with Hamas. Having said that Israel is no angel.
Maybe my sentiments are still tainted by personal experience with the PLO, Fatah, Saika, Jibhat al Tahrir…etc; they won’t make my words more acceptable to many; but once again I DO NOT GIVE A TOSS. I am sick and tired of all this violence, although now relatively far, but who is to say that Lebanon will not once again be dragged into yet another war that started with Palestinian hands.