Addressed not to one exclusively (maybe extensively), but to too many.

Even if I lately wish that the end was near and anxiously await the final curtain, I do hope for a sneak preview. Just a simple glimpse, so that I can rest in peace; and rest I am in lack of.
What if when I am drawing my last breath God gave me the luxury to be my own judge, it is a notion I have been toying with lately. This ludicrous idea did not come about out of schizophrenia nor did it emanate from a deep sense of guilt; on the contrary, this twisted state of mind stems from a complete feeling that I have tried my best to accommodate all those I HELD dear and so far never compromised. Endless efforts were made on my behalf trying to accommodate and accept, but rarely did I feel that I was met even half way. And still, regardless of this deep urge to throw everything out the window, regardless of consequences to those involved; I find myself waiting for some more.
Completely drained and disappointed. Even more, disillusioned and disgusted, to the extent that I just wish for all to let me lay down and rest. But you know damn well that this could not happen, for the final score has not been settled yet. So to some I say: let your “hired” spies feed you with the recurrent poison blinding your way. To others: let the lies you told so often become “the ultimate truth” for you have repeated them one time too many. And to some: "my giving well" has run dry, seek another.

If tonight in my sleep I draw my last breath, I know that my creator will meet me with his arms wide open. And if tomorrow I wake up and face yet another day, I solemnly promise to drastically change my ways.

Enough of this fake camaraderie and fake loyalties; no more efforts on my behalf.

Tonight I challenge the devil and reclaim back my life!

A bon entendeur, SALUT !