LBC 1, MTV 0

Ever since MTV was allowed to grace us once again with its “supposedly” non biased opinion, I found myself steering away from the LBC news segment. Being a fervent disciple of a free Lebanon (free of Syrian hegemony), I found hope in this TV station that was once silenced because of its ballsy attempt to just state facts. Well this “Cinderella” notion of mine did not last long.
For those who know me on a personal level, are aware that I have invested (after many years of self exile) myself in what I thought was the “rise of the phoenix”. I came back home against all odds in order to repay (or even contribute towards) my dues to this motherland. Upon my return I had my fair share of disappointments and cultural shock. But I never gave up. The struggle to justify my decision to come back is still ongoing. I was graced with a son (born in England) but from Lebanese decent. I have tried to instill within his very young soul the love of the motherland. I have showed him the scares that were inflicted upon me during the 15 years of civil war; and tried to inculcate within his virgin soul the morals that were ripped from me when I was his age.
Yes I am blabbering and trying to find a way or a “preanbule” to the text that will follow. I am man who decided to uproot a child from the safety of civil society which could have provided him with all the basic necessities and the respect owned, and “dumped” him amongst people who would sell their own mothers for a fistful of dollars. Mea culpa.
I, like many others in this Biblical land came to acknowledge that in order to secure a (relatively) bright future to our sons, could not rely on a simple white collar job. So I invested my hard earned savings in the ONLY segment in the motherland that seemed to be striving, and could yield a high rate of return. I invested in Gemmayzeh. One building over two floors, and I (and my partners alike) decided to make do with “wasta” and be the first to engage in business the “proper” way. Well needless to say we were FUCKED left right and center by Lebanese bureaucracy. Still we bite our lip and make do with the situation at hand. The project went over budget while waiting for the proper licenses even after greasing the “paws” of one too many politicians and government officials.
Then we thought we had it made, not because of monies paid and free dinners, but for we thought we had finally fulfilled all the perquisite regulations which would entitle us to engage in business legally.
So I thought (wrongly it seems) that I was working towards leaving some sort of legacy to my son (and so did those I have convinced to invest in my project) knowing that after graduating from college (if ever he could find a job locally) his salary will not suffice to rent him a room in a half decent place within this 10452Km2.
My plans (and my far-fetched worries) did not include (even in my wildest dreams) what is taking place today. Today I have came to the bitter conclusion that my fellow Lebanese deserve to rot in hell. I, as a non practicing, but raised Christian could not believe nor comprehend the amount of selfishness and hatred that was blurted by some of the people who participated in the “Kalam al nass” program.
Before I go any further I have to pay tribute to Marcel Ghanem for having shown (to my utter surprise) a true journalistic integrity in comparison to that constipated MTV presenter Abou Nader Al Hindi who thinks that the sun only shines out of her own wrinkled arse (maybe for carrying somehow in a shy way her husband's name). During his program Mr. Ghanem tried his best to show both sides of the story, and yes I am representative of one of one those sides having invested (along with my partners) over a million dollars. Needless to say that we have met with the residents of Gemmayzeh(on many occasions); the same people who rented us spaces then not fit to be used for stables, not for horses, but for donkeys at exorbitant prices, knowing damn well what our intentions were; and then they had no reservations upon contract signature. Miss, Ms, or Mrs Fadia Kiwan found it fit to organize a few sit ins, along with Pilipino maids (ill treated or not, I will leave it up to you), in their pajamas claiming that we are depriving her (and other “landlords") from a goodnight sleep. Another anal retentive dickhead (I think his name was Nabil) in the midst of screaming through the microphone, pulled out a box of “Lexo” in a vain attempt to draw attention (while it was obvious that he was high on God knows what) to his alleged lack of sleep.



But most shocking of all, was our dear minister of tourism (who comes from an industrial background) and kept on claiming that in Gemmayzeh “night clubs” and “super night clubs” are the main cause of the problem. Get a grip Mr Abboud, if your inquisition is aimed at “Night Clubs” and “Super Night Clubs” maybe you should target Solidere and Maameltein, but not Gemmayezeh. Yes you said it, and I agree with you; you haven’t signed any new licenses in Gemmayazeh, but why may I ask? The answer is very simple; there are no more vacancies or places to rent and you are what I call a "pied tendre"in your newly found office. Those FUCKS you are supposedly protecting are the one and the same landlords who signed over their leases to us in the knowledge that the premises will be used not for a bookshop, a pharmacy, a corner shop..etc but for pubs, and what they are now calling “mahchachat”. If it were not for investors like me, and many others, Gemmayzeh would be like Badaro at night; a ghost town.
Minister of tourism my Arse Mr. Abboud, you are nothing by a reflection of the demented General you follow and whom is driving us into Hizbollahstan at a pace faster than the speed of light. I dare you to go to Hamra and some of the “residential perpendicular” streets and issue warrants of closing. Wlek TFEH 3alek wa 3ala m3almak!.



Close down Gemmayzeh you “moronic” minister of tourism. I just wish that all those concerned will reopen in Rabieh and let your demented general enjoy a goodnight sleep. Maybe then he will move to another location and actually have to pay rent!!!



Like I have said it before “do not bite the hand that feed you”, but this time I will add FUCK YOU you ingrate penny chasing, low life, social parasites (residents of Gemmayzeh). If I was to shove a charcoal up your arses, within less than a month I would have had diamond field.
TFEH !!!

Culturally handicapped

Away from politics, Gemayzeh and the fight for survival within this Lebanese jungle; I have sought refuge in the comfort of good company and French wine. Le club des cinq gathered tonight in the safety of a home safely tucked away in the mountains, for an evening away from the newly found restrictions that once did not exist. The evening started with the normal discussion about Allouch and Sarkis’s decision to push Lebanon one step closer towards Iranistan, and the reactions of yesterday’s punters towards the early closing of their respective watering holes. Sitting in the living room sipping on a crispy cold Pouilly le club des cinq was graced with a program on LBC hosted by 4 wannabe “pop in et dans le vent” female compatriots trying to brake social barriers. At first we all thought that this might be the beginning of some sort of avant garde free speech program that might bring a glimmer of hope to what we have come to know as a waste of air space.
4 Women and a male guest (Yehia Jaber), a self proclaimed journalist, poet, communist, revolutionary, free speaking…etc polluted the airways for a couple of hours. All throughout this portrayal of what has become acceptable as Lebanon’s contribution to the world of “le 7emme art” and free speech (and a few glasses down our throats) we could not help but compare what we were watching to the good old days; the days of “le theatre des dix heures” with Yvette Sursock, “3acher 3abid zghar”, “toute la ville chante”, Alec Khalaf (as suggested by J.W Chouchou and Al dinyeh Heyk)…etc.
Association d’idées, we switched on to Tal Al Zaatar, holiday Inn, Sabra & Chatila, Tanzim, Ahrar, Kateb, Mourabiton, Fath, Saika…etc; all those memories shoved way back in the deep recesses of our minds resurfaced again only to be mentioned but not discussed.
The only agreement was that we were all reminiscent of the days when our country was a cradle of culture, wit, free speech; and programs like the one we saw tonight would have never aired for the mere fact that it would not have found an audience.
Bring me back the glory days of channels 7, 5, 9 11, C33; even in black and white. Moreover bring me back Doreid Laham, Sissi imperatrice,Simon Templar,Allo Hayete, Ghawar al Tocheh.
I truly regret my snobbish attitude then, and in order to redeem myself, enclosed is a clip of those glory days.



Yes those were better days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pardon Sleiman Beik, bedeh e7lbo !

Have we reached the bottom of the barrel, or is it a lack of social life that made me watch Suleiman Beyck tonight on what used to be the voice of Christian defiance (LBC). I thank my God (my private God) for whiskey and the beautiful company I was graced with, which made Suli’s televised “itlaleleh” more funny than it was supposed to be.
I will not bother to comment on his wisdom and political savvy, he doesn’t have any (in my own humble opinion). But what cracked me up and made me piss down my trousers was the use of : “ye7lebo” and “yil3an oukthoun” (more than once). According to Suli beyck my fellow Lebanese are masturbators with cursed sisters.
Thank you LBC for having shown us once again that you are pioneers and fervent adept of free speech. Sheikh Bashir is now rolling in his grave.
Thank you Suli, my dear me3az from the north for making me realize that in Lebanon, you don’t even need any form of education to become a leader, a minister, a politician...etc and have your moment of glory on LBC.