Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hooray, hooray; summer is here !

Hooray, hooray; summer is here, tourists are flocking and Lebanese are benefiting. Cabinet or not; who gives a damn. My country is once again attracting tourists spending their oily green dollars in local institutions. This summer Lebanon has regained it's place in tourist guides, not as "the Paris of the Middle East"; but more as the cheap brothel for low class (a better word would be NO CLASS) Middle Eastern carnal pleasure seeking half humans. As long as M14 and M8 keep (relatively) calm until early October, our dear one finger sandal wearing brothers will feel safe spending their money (and I will not dwell into how) in exchange of services we render. Youpppppppie, all is well!
So for the time being no one seems to care about, Saad, the Iztaz, the Doctor, the general (his son in law),the divine protector, the crazy guy from Moukhtara...etc, and especially no one seems to care about LEBANON.
My recollection of one of the countries I visited is depicted below, I wonder how would any "khaliji" describe his summer in Lebanon.

A place to lay me down to sleep: 55th & 5th

One of the best pizzas I ever had : 1295 3rd Avenue west Houston St

Dinner & a drink: 29E 65th St

Late night: 47W 20th st

Innocence found: 767 5th Avenue

Christmas lunch: West 67th st, central park west

And this is only one memory.

To those tourist who came with a "high" respect for the Lebanese (especially their women), and to those Lebanese who have lost all signs of respect; I dedicate (after my regular TFEH!) this song.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Whoring political style!

To go, or not to go; that is the question. Will goatee Saad meet with Bashar, will Saudi/Syrian summit (rapprochement) pave the way in the forming of our new government? Those are the two questions on the minds of many fellow Lebanese.
As for me, I regret casting my vote (in a vain attempt to make a difference and to somehow revive the spirit of the cedar evolution); for deep down inside I knew that I was voting for “eunuchs”. I thought that voting for “eunuchs” was less painful (for they cannot fuck you up the arse) than for those who have proven (7th of May) to have long reaching dicks and a strong belief of fucking you over “au naturel” with no “Vaseline”.
Hands are now once again being extended (after long years of self masturbation, which only led to selfish pleasures), and free “blow jobs” are being offered in the name of the formation of a cabinet (“kabbineh” is a better word) of national unity.
Since Lebanon has become such a cheap whore (at the hands of the “majority” elected) I nominate for the presidency, the PM and the speaker of parliament …

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Evenings by the “telly”, a long, long time ago.

Those (for a short while) were happy days, and like the "Fonz" so eloquently said, I say to all the politicians (some more loudly than others) " SIT ON IT""; but I would also add the words “AND SWIVLE”.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Black or White

No this is not a tribute to Michael Jackson. As an artist, I bow to his talent, but as a decent human being I still have many doubts. This is a call to end the stalemate that has cursed our country since its institution in 1943. BLACK OR WHITE is a choice between freedom, liberty, territorial integrity, honor, freedom of choice, advancement, prosperity; and the dark ages. I do not give a flying fuck about Gad El Maleh’s comedy prowess, but I refuse the Hizb’s influence which led to his tour cancellation. BLACK OR WHITE is the choice we are faced with today; no shades of gray. The only salvation (if ever) I see, is for one color to completely win over the other; even if this means WAR . Sad to say that I am convinced that BLACK has already won. R.I.P Lebanon.
Wlek TFEH!